Abuser FAQ
I’m not a “batterer.” I don’t need something like Emerge, do I?
The term “batterer” often has very negative connotations. It seems to imply repeated or severe physical violence toward a partner. Because of this, many people who might otherwise want to stop their abuse and improve their relationships shy away from Emerge or similar programs. A number of people who come to Emerge report no physical abuse, but they do report an extensive history of emotionally or verbally harmful behavior towards their partners or families.
Our primary goal is to help people have better relationships by helping them stop choosing harmful behavior. Harmful behavior includes emotional abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse (including emotional or physical affairs), or controlling behavior. Some actions often considered minor, such as alienation or insensitivity, can be part of a larger pattern of abuse or control.
The answer to this FAQ is that if you have done things that have been harmful to your partner or family, or you have had relationships that have ended due to your behavior, you could benefit from attending Emerge. It is not a prerequisite for someone to have been physically abusive in order to come to groups. In fact, approximately 40% of our clients report having never been physically abusive.
We describe this topic a bit more in our information for clients enrolling at Emerge, which can be viewed here. For more information on “best practices” for working with abusers in substance abuse treatment, click here.
Does abuser education work?
This question is commonly asked but does not have a simple answer. Abuser education programs may work for those people who take the information presented and explored in groups and use it to stop harming others.
A comparable question might be “Does education and treatment for drinking and driving offenders really work?” The answer would be similar: someone who truly wants to stop drinking will work to do so. Someone who doesn’t take such services seriously is at greater risk to re-offend.
Ongoing studies continue to look for a definitive answer to this question. Researcher Edward Gondolf has conducted a study comparing different Abuser Education Program formats, the results of which can be viewed here. Jeffrey Edelson’s research also explores this question and can be viewed here.
What are Abuser Education groups?
Abuser Education groups try to help abusers change the harmful, abusive, controlling and violent behavior in their relationships. Abuser Education services are usually conducted in a group format during which educational material is presented, and individual group members discuss their actions and receive feedback on how to behave respectfully and non-abusively in their relationships. For more information about the Emerge model, click here.
How is alcohol and other drug abuse discussed?
Emerge does not offer substance abuse services. Anyone who is abusive in relationships and has substance abuse issues has two problems to address. During group sessions, we discuss how alcohol and other drugs do not cause abuse but may escalate it. Emerge makes referrals for substance abuse evaluations when needed and receives reports from probation officers regarding mandated substance abuse testing.
Why can’t I go for couples counseling when I’m in an abuser education group?
Couples counseling can be dangerous if there is ongoing violence in the relationship. Therapy may bring up strong feelings. In a relationship where violence and abuse are occurring, couples counseling may make the situation much more dangerous for the victim. Couples counseling is designed for a situation in which both participants can be safe, regardless of how difficult the dialogue in the session becomes.
In Massachusetts, due to safety concerns and state certification guidelines, abusers who enter abuser education groups are restricted from couples counseling unless there has been a period of nine months with no violence.
What is the recidivism rate for abusers?
Measuring recidivism is difficult, since there are many types of violence that are not easily tracked. Physical violence is the most measurable type of domestic violence because it often results in arrests, and incidents can more easily be quantified. However, other types of abuse, control and violence which may not be illegal are not easily quantified or tracked.
Clients who come to Emerge are only here for two hours per week. Knowing what their activities are outside of group and knowing how they are being abusive after leaving Emerge is impossible unless they are rearrested.
In 2004, the Massachusetts Trial Court Office of the Commissioner of Probation conducted a study looking at the success rates of restraining order violators over a six year time-frame. It strongly supports abuser education over other forms of treatment. To view this study, click here. In addition, Edward Gondolf’s research study looks at the differences in abuser education models and recidivism and can be viewed here.
The term “batterer” often has very negative connotations. It seems to imply repeated or severe physical violence toward a partner. Because of this, many people who might otherwise want to stop their abuse and improve their relationships shy away from Emerge or similar programs. A number of people who come to Emerge report no physical abuse, but they do report an extensive history of emotionally or verbally harmful behavior towards their partners or families.
Our primary goal is to help people have better relationships by helping them stop choosing harmful behavior. Harmful behavior includes emotional abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse (including emotional or physical affairs), or controlling behavior. Some actions often considered minor, such as alienation or insensitivity, can be part of a larger pattern of abuse or control.
The answer to this FAQ is that if you have done things that have been harmful to your partner or family, or you have had relationships that have ended due to your behavior, you could benefit from attending Emerge. It is not a prerequisite for someone to have been physically abusive in order to come to groups. In fact, approximately 40% of our clients report having never been physically abusive.
We describe this topic a bit more in our information for clients enrolling at Emerge, which can be viewed here. For more information on “best practices” for working with abusers in substance abuse treatment, click here.
Does abuser education work?
This question is commonly asked but does not have a simple answer. Abuser education programs may work for those people who take the information presented and explored in groups and use it to stop harming others.
A comparable question might be “Does education and treatment for drinking and driving offenders really work?” The answer would be similar: someone who truly wants to stop drinking will work to do so. Someone who doesn’t take such services seriously is at greater risk to re-offend.
Ongoing studies continue to look for a definitive answer to this question. Researcher Edward Gondolf has conducted a study comparing different Abuser Education Program formats, the results of which can be viewed here. Jeffrey Edelson’s research also explores this question and can be viewed here.
What are Abuser Education groups?
Abuser Education groups try to help abusers change the harmful, abusive, controlling and violent behavior in their relationships. Abuser Education services are usually conducted in a group format during which educational material is presented, and individual group members discuss their actions and receive feedback on how to behave respectfully and non-abusively in their relationships. For more information about the Emerge model, click here.
How is alcohol and other drug abuse discussed?
Emerge does not offer substance abuse services. Anyone who is abusive in relationships and has substance abuse issues has two problems to address. During group sessions, we discuss how alcohol and other drugs do not cause abuse but may escalate it. Emerge makes referrals for substance abuse evaluations when needed and receives reports from probation officers regarding mandated substance abuse testing.
Why can’t I go for couples counseling when I’m in an abuser education group?
Couples counseling can be dangerous if there is ongoing violence in the relationship. Therapy may bring up strong feelings. In a relationship where violence and abuse are occurring, couples counseling may make the situation much more dangerous for the victim. Couples counseling is designed for a situation in which both participants can be safe, regardless of how difficult the dialogue in the session becomes.
In Massachusetts, due to safety concerns and state certification guidelines, abusers who enter abuser education groups are restricted from couples counseling unless there has been a period of nine months with no violence.
What is the recidivism rate for abusers?
Measuring recidivism is difficult, since there are many types of violence that are not easily tracked. Physical violence is the most measurable type of domestic violence because it often results in arrests, and incidents can more easily be quantified. However, other types of abuse, control and violence which may not be illegal are not easily quantified or tracked.
Clients who come to Emerge are only here for two hours per week. Knowing what their activities are outside of group and knowing how they are being abusive after leaving Emerge is impossible unless they are rearrested.
In 2004, the Massachusetts Trial Court Office of the Commissioner of Probation conducted a study looking at the success rates of restraining order violators over a six year time-frame. It strongly supports abuser education over other forms of treatment. To view this study, click here. In addition, Edward Gondolf’s research study looks at the differences in abuser education models and recidivism and can be viewed here.
Survivor/Victim FAQ
Why doesn’t a victim of abuse just leave the relationship?
There are many factors that affect someone who is abused in a relationship. Many times, abusers give empty promises to change and the victims want to believe they are going to make those changes. Moreover, abusers are often financially controlling and victims do not have the resources to leave. When children are involved in the relationship, victims may not feel safe leaving them with the abuser and might not be able to leave the relationship with them. Occasionally, abusers will threaten to kill victims if they leave.
A common suggestion given to those who ask this question is to think about a time in your life where you were very vulnerable and consider if you could have made a life-changing decision at that time. For victims of abuse, leaving their abuser is a huge life-changing decision they face during a time when their abuser is making them vulnerable. For more information on this topic click here or here.
Aren’t victims just as responsible for the abuse as the batterers are?
At Emerge, we believe that the person who commits the abuse, be it verbal, emotional, or physical, is responsible for all of the abusive behavior. Abusers may tell victims that the victims made them act abusively, but this is how abusers avoid responsibility and try to shift blame onto others.
What if the victim uses alcohol or other drugs?
If victims use alcohol or drugs, their batterers may use that fact to control them by either playing on their guilt or discouraging the victim from getting clean and sober. Abusers can have more power if they prevent their partners from getting help. (Click here for more information about domestic violence victims and substance abuse.)
What if the victim attacks first or starts something?
It’s important not to focus on each individual act of violence and abuse but to look at the larger picture. Look at the overall history of the relationship to see who has power over the other person.The person who initiates a specific act of violence does not always have control or dominance in the relationship. Violence may occur in self-defense, even though it first appears that the victim is not in immediate danger.
Abusers may also encourage the victim to use physical violence as a manipulative tool, so that abusers can blame their future abuse on this incident. Abusers may use a violent response from the victim to justify retaliatory abuse which is severe and ongoing, and which in no way qualifies as self-defense.
Abusers set the emotional tone of the relationship and control the topic of discussions. They may also repeatedly assert their will over their partners, without regard to the negative impact. Abusers often reflect a lack of empathy for their partner, and may feel entitled to get their way most of the time.
There are many factors that affect someone who is abused in a relationship. Many times, abusers give empty promises to change and the victims want to believe they are going to make those changes. Moreover, abusers are often financially controlling and victims do not have the resources to leave. When children are involved in the relationship, victims may not feel safe leaving them with the abuser and might not be able to leave the relationship with them. Occasionally, abusers will threaten to kill victims if they leave.
A common suggestion given to those who ask this question is to think about a time in your life where you were very vulnerable and consider if you could have made a life-changing decision at that time. For victims of abuse, leaving their abuser is a huge life-changing decision they face during a time when their abuser is making them vulnerable. For more information on this topic click here or here.
Aren’t victims just as responsible for the abuse as the batterers are?
At Emerge, we believe that the person who commits the abuse, be it verbal, emotional, or physical, is responsible for all of the abusive behavior. Abusers may tell victims that the victims made them act abusively, but this is how abusers avoid responsibility and try to shift blame onto others.
What if the victim uses alcohol or other drugs?
If victims use alcohol or drugs, their batterers may use that fact to control them by either playing on their guilt or discouraging the victim from getting clean and sober. Abusers can have more power if they prevent their partners from getting help. (Click here for more information about domestic violence victims and substance abuse.)
What if the victim attacks first or starts something?
It’s important not to focus on each individual act of violence and abuse but to look at the larger picture. Look at the overall history of the relationship to see who has power over the other person.The person who initiates a specific act of violence does not always have control or dominance in the relationship. Violence may occur in self-defense, even though it first appears that the victim is not in immediate danger.
Abusers may also encourage the victim to use physical violence as a manipulative tool, so that abusers can blame their future abuse on this incident. Abusers may use a violent response from the victim to justify retaliatory abuse which is severe and ongoing, and which in no way qualifies as self-defense.
Abusers set the emotional tone of the relationship and control the topic of discussions. They may also repeatedly assert their will over their partners, without regard to the negative impact. Abusers often reflect a lack of empathy for their partner, and may feel entitled to get their way most of the time.
Training FAQ
Can I become a group leader after taking this training?
In Massachusetts, programs are certified by the Department of Public Health (DPH). People are not individually “licensed” or “certified.” However, in order to work in a certified program you must meet several DPH requirements. First, you must take a 24 hour batterer intervention course at a DPH designated training site. After completing this course, you must then observe 6 two-hour batterer intervention groups and also speak with group leaders about these observations. Finally, you can apply for a job as a batterer intervention group leaders at a certified program.
Should I take this course if I have a history of being abusive?
If you have been abusive, the Department of Public Health requires that you must have been non-abusive for three years and must have successfully completed a certified batterer intervention program. Click here to view DPH guidelines for group leaders.
After I’ve taken the 3 day course, what other training can I do?
Emerge offers a variety of training opportunities. There are advanced trainings which address a particular advanced topic related to issues discussed at our 3-day course. We have out-of-state trainings that can be modeled after any of our other Emerge trainings. Check out more specific training information on our website here.
Are there any trainings scheduled for my state/area?
Emerge conducts trainings throughout the world, and is hired by governmental agencies, social service agencies, coalitions and others. When an agency hires Emerge, they have the option to make its training exclusive, or to allow others outside the agency to attend. Those trainings and conferences that are open to the public will be announced during our monthly e-mail newsletter, and we will keep our homepage updated with all upcoming trainings.
To sign up for our email newsletter, enter your email address in the “Email signup” box at the right of this, or any, page on our website.
How can I bring Emerge to my state/area?
Emerge can coordinate any size training to come to your area. Many agencies have decided that the cost of sending individual trainees to the Boston area for a training is not as cost-effective as having Emerge come and train the entire staff. Others decide to join with other agencies to share costs.
To contact us about hosting a training, call our office or email us.
For more information on our website about hosting a training, click here.
If you have questions that are not answered in this section, please contact Zachary Moser at [email protected].
In Massachusetts, programs are certified by the Department of Public Health (DPH). People are not individually “licensed” or “certified.” However, in order to work in a certified program you must meet several DPH requirements. First, you must take a 24 hour batterer intervention course at a DPH designated training site. After completing this course, you must then observe 6 two-hour batterer intervention groups and also speak with group leaders about these observations. Finally, you can apply for a job as a batterer intervention group leaders at a certified program.
Should I take this course if I have a history of being abusive?
If you have been abusive, the Department of Public Health requires that you must have been non-abusive for three years and must have successfully completed a certified batterer intervention program. Click here to view DPH guidelines for group leaders.
After I’ve taken the 3 day course, what other training can I do?
Emerge offers a variety of training opportunities. There are advanced trainings which address a particular advanced topic related to issues discussed at our 3-day course. We have out-of-state trainings that can be modeled after any of our other Emerge trainings. Check out more specific training information on our website here.
Are there any trainings scheduled for my state/area?
Emerge conducts trainings throughout the world, and is hired by governmental agencies, social service agencies, coalitions and others. When an agency hires Emerge, they have the option to make its training exclusive, or to allow others outside the agency to attend. Those trainings and conferences that are open to the public will be announced during our monthly e-mail newsletter, and we will keep our homepage updated with all upcoming trainings.
To sign up for our email newsletter, enter your email address in the “Email signup” box at the right of this, or any, page on our website.
How can I bring Emerge to my state/area?
Emerge can coordinate any size training to come to your area. Many agencies have decided that the cost of sending individual trainees to the Boston area for a training is not as cost-effective as having Emerge come and train the entire staff. Others decide to join with other agencies to share costs.
To contact us about hosting a training, call our office or email us.
For more information on our website about hosting a training, click here.
If you have questions that are not answered in this section, please contact Zachary Moser at [email protected].
Domestic Violence FAQ
Isn’t domestic violence really just mutual abuse?
No. In fact, we believe that in each relationship where there is violence and controlling behavior, there is a pattern in which one person controls the other most of the time. People who are being abused may choose to use violence as a way to resist the control put over them by their abusers. Click here for more information on this topic. Emerge offers training for law enforcement officers throughout the nation. Click here for information on “Danger Assessment and Safety Planning” trainings and when the training is coming to your area.
Is domestic violence just physical violence?
No, the definition Emerge uses for domestic violence is forcing one’s partner to do something that they don’t want to do or preventing them from doing what they want to do. This definition includes physical violence and threats of violence, but it also includes psychological, mental, sexual, and economic abuse. All forms of abuse are addressed through Emerge’s batterer intervention groups. Click here for more information on types of abuse.
Do alcohol or other drugs cause domestic violence?
While alcohol and other drugs can certainly escalate abuse, neither cause batterers to abuse their partner. Substances lower inhibitions, and many abusers believe they have less responsibility while using substances. Under the influence, abusers may have fewer barriers on how abusive they will be, so the abuse tends to be more violent. (Click here for a research study on the connection between alcohol and violence in New Zealand.) A batterer, even when under the influence of substances, is the one who makes the decision to abuse their partner. Abusers may not remember choosing abusive actions while under the influence, but this does not mean they did not make the decision.
Does domestic violence happen more in low income and minority families?
Because so much domestic violence is never reported in high-income families, the reliability of such statistics should always be questioned. Domestic violence is a significant problem in relationships between people of all different races, nationalities, economic classes, and religions.
Is partner abuse a relatively new social problem?
Domestic violence has been a social issue throughout history. However, it has largely been ignored in laws and politics up until recent decades. The reason domestic violence was ignored has a lot to do with how women have been regarded as subservient to men. In that subservience, abuse and violence were seen as being an acceptable way to control the family.
Over the past few decades, domestic violence has been recognized as something that seriously harms both the person being abused and the children in the relationship. Also, as oppression is increasingly acknowledged throughout society, roles for men and women are being looked at through the lens of respect and equality rather than dominance. Laws have been created to provide safety and to work towards encouraging relationships that are free of abuse and violence. Click here for a brief list of myths about domestic violence.
If you have questions that are not answered in this section, please call the Emerge office at 617-547-9879.
No. In fact, we believe that in each relationship where there is violence and controlling behavior, there is a pattern in which one person controls the other most of the time. People who are being abused may choose to use violence as a way to resist the control put over them by their abusers. Click here for more information on this topic. Emerge offers training for law enforcement officers throughout the nation. Click here for information on “Danger Assessment and Safety Planning” trainings and when the training is coming to your area.
Is domestic violence just physical violence?
No, the definition Emerge uses for domestic violence is forcing one’s partner to do something that they don’t want to do or preventing them from doing what they want to do. This definition includes physical violence and threats of violence, but it also includes psychological, mental, sexual, and economic abuse. All forms of abuse are addressed through Emerge’s batterer intervention groups. Click here for more information on types of abuse.
Do alcohol or other drugs cause domestic violence?
While alcohol and other drugs can certainly escalate abuse, neither cause batterers to abuse their partner. Substances lower inhibitions, and many abusers believe they have less responsibility while using substances. Under the influence, abusers may have fewer barriers on how abusive they will be, so the abuse tends to be more violent. (Click here for a research study on the connection between alcohol and violence in New Zealand.) A batterer, even when under the influence of substances, is the one who makes the decision to abuse their partner. Abusers may not remember choosing abusive actions while under the influence, but this does not mean they did not make the decision.
Does domestic violence happen more in low income and minority families?
Because so much domestic violence is never reported in high-income families, the reliability of such statistics should always be questioned. Domestic violence is a significant problem in relationships between people of all different races, nationalities, economic classes, and religions.
Is partner abuse a relatively new social problem?
Domestic violence has been a social issue throughout history. However, it has largely been ignored in laws and politics up until recent decades. The reason domestic violence was ignored has a lot to do with how women have been regarded as subservient to men. In that subservience, abuse and violence were seen as being an acceptable way to control the family.
Over the past few decades, domestic violence has been recognized as something that seriously harms both the person being abused and the children in the relationship. Also, as oppression is increasingly acknowledged throughout society, roles for men and women are being looked at through the lens of respect and equality rather than dominance. Laws have been created to provide safety and to work towards encouraging relationships that are free of abuse and violence. Click here for a brief list of myths about domestic violence.
If you have questions that are not answered in this section, please call the Emerge office at 617-547-9879.